Wednesday 24 December 2008

Dream Visions

When I was 19, before I became Buddhist, I had three dream visions in one night. I woke each time deeply impressed. I can still remember these visions clearly almost 30 years later. I agree, I'm not a good artist, nor a skilful user of Gimp, the painting program.


Mountain top storm
Standing on the peak of a mountain at night in a raging storm raging. Rain, thunder and lightning. Straining against the strong wind.
Good and evil forces in a competition above Earth
Floating above the Earth between night and day sides. Good and evil forces seem to combat like ghosts around the Earth. For a while the to and fro of the struggle shows the outcome is uncertain. Finally the good forces overcome evil.
Afternoon tea with two aunties
A large house in the country, a refuge. Tired and worn, I enter and meet two kind aunties who serve tea and cakes. We sit and chat. They lovingly reassure me that everything will be alright. I relax, at peace.

Saturday 20 December 2008

Escape the Sinking Burning Ship



The following simile is one of my attempts to explain what motivates me to take the Dhamma journey, simplify life, meditate and so on. People see things in quite different ways, with different values, different assumptions and knowledge about reality. This leads people to adopt different behaviour and morality. Because of how we view reality we take diverse paths that tend toward further suffering or tend toward liberation.

Imagine that we are all on a ship that is on fire and sinking. Some passengers just party, party, party until the ship sinks. Other passengers become depressed and helpless and some in this camp even suicide. Some passengers panic and go crazy. Most passengers either don't know or choose to ignore the fact that the ship is on fire and sinking. This is despite the ship listing and smelling of smoke. Of course some parts of the ship are worse than other parts.

However, a minority of passengers believe there is an escape, a way off the ship. Someone in the past found the way to get off. The believers study and practice the method of escape. Sometimes their practice attempts give them glimpses that it escape is really possible and this gives them confidence to keep trying. Some energetic passengers actually escape and then, from a safe external point, also help other believing passengers escape.

Even when the former passengers who escaped stand in that safe point to explain the method of escape, most passengers still don't believe that escape is possible, or even if it were possible, they don't believe it is a good thing to do. These passengers don't like escaping because they have to leave behind all their friends and nice things on the comfortable parts of the burning sinking ship. They would lose their investments. They also don't know or understand what they might be escaping to, escape seems risky. It is all too hard and so they prefer not to think about it.

Some passengers who don't believe escape is possible and want to enjoy life on the sinking burning ship criticise the escaping passengers for being "selfish" for not wanting to be with passengers who are apparently enjoying life on the ship. These critics don't see the virtue of escaping, and then from the safe place, helping other passengers to escape. Another group of ship passengers are delighted that there are sincere escaping people and fully support them in the hope that the once these people escape, they will be able to reach back from the safe point and also help them and other passengers on the sinking burning ship.

What happens when the burning sinking ship sinks and everyone goes down with it? They are all reborn on yet another sinking burning ship and most of them have to live in worse conditions than the conditions they were living on the previous ship. They also forget that there were on other burning sinking ships in previous lives. The reborn escape believers have more fortunate rebirths on the burning sinking ship and may soon escape themselves, even though most of them also forget their previous births. This is kamma.

The simile of a sinking burning ship refers to this life where we are all ageing, suffering sickness and face inevitable death. The burning sinking ship represents the unsatisfactory nature of life. I believe in the Buddha Dhamma that teaches a way to escape ageing, sickness and death. I have practiced and become confident in this path. I believe that escape is possible in this life. I believe that I may be able to help others to escape. This is a worthy goal.

There is a great potential reward for supporters who are happy to see escapees attempting to get off the burning sinking boat. The opposite is also true. Not many people are aware of this.

Monday 8 December 2008

Strategic Intent Supported by Attention

Our habitual mental states, our daily intentions and inclinations generate kamma. Lord Buddha encouraged us to diligently restrain the six sense doors and to wisely attend the skillful mental states that lead away from suffering and toward liberation.

Samyuttanikaaya SN.II.12.38. Volition (เจตนาสูตรที่)

At Saavatii. "Bhikkhus, what one intends, and what one plans, and whatever one has a tendency towards: this becomes a basis for the maintenance of consciousness. When there is a basis there is support for the establishing of consciousness. When consciousness is established and has come to growth, there is the production of future renewed existence. When there is the production of future renewed existence, future birth, aging-and-death, sorrow, lamentation, pain, displeasure, and despair come to be. Such is the origin of this whole mass of suffering.

"If bhikkhus, one does not intend, and one does not plan, but one still has a tendency towards something, this becomes the basis for the maintenance of consciousness. When there is a basis, there is a support for the establishing of consciousness.... Such is the origin of this whole mass of suffering.

"But, bhikkhus, when one does not intend, and one does not plan, and one does not have a tendency towards anything, no basis exists for the maintenance of consciousness. When there is no basis, there is no support for the establishing of consciousness. When consciousness is unestablished and does not come to growth, there is no production of future renewed existence, future birth, aging-and-death, sorrow, lamentation, pain, displeasure, and despair cease. Such is the cessation of this whole mass of suffering."

Samyuttanikaaya SN.IV.35.97. Dwelling Negligently (ปมาทวิหารีสูตร)

"Bhikkhus, I will teach you about one who dwells negligently, and about one who dwells diligently.. Listen to that...


"And how, bhikkhus, does one dwell negligently? If one dwells without restraint over the eye faculty, the mind is soiled among forms cognizable by the eye. If the mind is soiled there is no gladness. When there is no gladness, there is no rapture. When there is no rapture, there is no tranquillity. When there is no tranquillity, one dwells in suffering. The mind of one who suffers does not become concentrated. When the mind is not concentrated, phenomena do not become manifest. Because phenomena do not become manifest, one is reckoned as 'one who dwells negligently.'

"If one dwells without restraint over the ear... nose...tongue...body...mind faculty, the mind is soiled among mental phenomena congnizable by the mind.... Because phenomena do not become manifest, one is reckoned as 'one who dwells negligently.'

"It is in such a way, bhikkhus, that one dwells negligently.

"And how, bhikkhus, does one dwell diligently? If one dwells with restraint over the eye faculty... ear faculty ... nose faculty... tongue faculty... body faculty... mind faculty, the mind is not soiled among forms cognizable by the eye. If the mind is not soiled, gladness is born. When one is gladdened, rapture is born. When the mind is uplifted by rapture, the body becomes tranquil. One tranquil in body experiences happiness. The mind of one who is happy becomes concentrated. When the mind is concentrated, phenomena become manifest. Because phenomena become manifest, one is reckoned as 'one who dwells diligently.'

"It is in such a way, bhikkhus, that one dwells diligently."

Majjhimanikaaya MN.19.11. Dvedhaavitakka Sutta: Two Kinds of Thought (เทวธาวิตักกสูตร)

"Bhikkhus, whatever a bhikkhu frequently thinks and ponders upon, that will become the inclination of his mind. If he frequently thinks and ponders upon thoughts of renunciation, he has abandoned the thought of sensual desire to cultivate the thought of renunciation, and then his mind inclines to thoughts of renunciation. If he frequently thinks and ponders upon thoughts of non-ill will...upon thoughts of non-cruelty, he has abandoned the thought of cruelty to cultivate the thought of non-cruelty, and then his mind inclines to thoughts of non-cruelty.


Samyuttanikaaya SN.V.45.91. Dwelling Diligently (วิรัทธสูตร)

At Saavatii. "Bhikkhus, just as the river Ganges slants, slopes, and inclines towards the east, so too a bhikkhu who develops and cultivates the Noble Eightfold Path slants, slopes, and inclines towards Nibbaana...

Samyuttanikaaya SN.V.45.152. The Tree (อัตตสัมปทาสูตรที่)

"Bhikkhus, suppose a tree were slanting, sloping, and inclining towards the east. If it were cut at its root, in what direction would it fall?"

"In whatever direction it was slanting, sloping and inclining venerable sir."
"So too, bhikkhus, a bhikkhu who develops and cultivates the Noble Eightfold Path slants, slopes, and inclines towards Nibaana....

Samyuttanikaaya SN.V.46.23. A Basis (ฐานิยสูตร)

"Bhikkhus, by frequently giving attention to things that are a basis for sensual lust, unarisen sensual desire arises and unarisen sensual desire increases and expands. By frequently giving attention to things that are a basis for ill will, unarisen ill will arises and arisen ill will increases and expands. By frequently giving attention to things that are the basis for sloth and torpor, unarisen sloth and torpor arise, and arisen sloth and torpor increase and expand. By frequently giving attention to things that are a basis for restlessness and remorse, unarisen restlessness and remorse arise and arisen restlessness and remorse increase and expand. By frequently giving attention to things that are a basis for doubt, unarisen doubt arises and arisen doubt increases and expands.

"Bhikkhus, by frequently giving attention to things that are a basis for the enlightenment factor of mindfulness, the unarisen enlightenment factor of mindfulness arises and the arisen enlightenment factor of mindfulness comes to fulfilment by development ... By frequently giving attention to things that are a basis for the enlightenment factor of equanimity, the unarisen enlightenment factor of equanimity arises and the arisen enlightenment factor of equanimity comes to fulfilment by development."

Samyuttanikaaya SN.V.46.24 Careless Attention (อโยนิโสสูตร)

"Bhikkhus, when one attends carelessly, unarisen sensual desire arises and arisen sensual desire increases and expands; when one attends carelessly, unarisen ill will arises and arisen ill will increases and expands; when one attends carelessly, unarisen sloth and torpor arise and arisen sloth and torpor increase and expand...restlessness and remorse...doubt... Also the unarisen enlightenment factor of mindfulness does not arise and the arisen enlightenment factor of mindfulness ceases ... the unarisen enlightenment factor of equanimity does not arise and the arisen enlightenment factor of equanimity ceases.

"When one attends carefully, bhikkhus, unarisen sensual desire does not arise and arisen sensual desire is abandoned. When one attends carefully, unarisen ill-will... sloth and torpor... restlessness and remorse.. doubt does not arise and arisen doubt is abandoned. Also the unarisen enlightenment factor of mindfulness arises and the arisen enlightenment factor of mindfulness comes to fulfilment by development... the unarisen enlightenment factor of equanimity arises and the arisen enlightenment factor of equanimity comes to fulfilment by development.

Majjhimanikaaya MN.2. Sabbaasava Sutta: All the Taints (สัพพาสวสังวรสูตร)

3. "Bhikkhus, I say that the destruction of the taints is for one who knows and sees, not for one who does not know and see. Who knows and what? Wise attention and unwise attention. When one attends unwisely, unarisen taints arise and arisen taints increase. When one attends wisely, unarisen taints do not arise and arisen taints are abandoned.

4. "Bhikkhus, there are taints that should be abandoned by seeing. There are taints that should be abandoned by restraining. There are taints that should be abandoned by using. There are taints that should be abandoned by enduring. There are taints that should be abandoned by avoiding. There are taints that should be abandoned by removing. There are taints that should be abandoned by developing.

Saturday 6 December 2008

Albany - Esperance

Last week I went on an information gathering trip from Perth to Albany and Esperance and back to Perth with a work colleague. We drove a new vehicle along the Albany Highway to Albany, the South Coast Highway via Ravensthorpe (and Hopetoun) to Esperance and passed through many small country towns along the way. We met and interviewed local officials who emphasised various issues. It was very interesting and I learned a lot about the region. We saw many blue gum plantations, grain fields, roads, port and mining facilities and learned about water, power and transport infrastructure in these regions.

I have been to Albany several times and last went there in January this year on holiday with my children. This work trip was the first time I have ever been to Esperance. It is a lovely town with a population of around 15,000. It would be an ideal place for a family holiday.

I particularly enjoyed seeing the landscape of the Great Southern and lower Goldfield Esperance regions. We passed through the Fitzgerald River National Park and the Cape Le Grand National Park. Both parks have quite spectacular rock formations and beaches. While passing through these places, my colleague and I both commented on how lovely it would be to live in close proximity to these beautiful places. These must have deep cultural significance for the Aboriginal people who live in the region now and in the past.

Saturday 22 November 2008

Work and Worldly Routines

I've been working for two weeks in my new job. There are many similarities and differences compared with previous jobs in Canberra. I have found here there is less concern with security, people dress more casually and the amounts of money for programs are smaller. As expected, I've been spending a lot of time learning the policy area, the current issues and the positions of various policy agents (stakeholders). My bosses have complimented me already saying that I seem to have done a lot and made a good impression. I'll be flying down south for a 3 day work trip in few days. We'll hire a car then drive to a few places to meet local officials. That should be interesting.

The down side for me is the long commute. I leave home at 6:30AM and get home around 6:30PM or slightly later. I walk 15 minutes to get to the bus stop, sit on a bus to the office for 45 minutes get another bus and take another 30 minutes to get to the office. The trip home is the same in reverse. I'm thinking of not taking the second shorter bus route and just walking that bit. It is an easy decision really. I can peacefully walk by the Swan River and avoid the busy main street stop-start bus ride. I've been walking during lunch breaks too. In addition to the Swan River foreshore, there is a lovely Garden nearby with flowers, ducks and shady trees. I plan to take a sitting mat and do a quick 20 minute sit during the lunch break.

My day normally starts by waking at 5:00AM, wash the face, quick coffee, down dog on the ropes for my back and then a 30 minute sit, cereal, change appearance and possibly check the home e-mail and headlines. Mum is usually just getting up by the time I walk out the door. I do another shorter sit before sleeping. I struggle to stay awake during the evening sit. I've been continuing to read sutta while sitting on the bus to work. I've finished the Samyuttanikaaya and am now part way through the Majjhimanikaaya again. Next I may read the Anguttaranikaaya again before moving on to the Vissudhimagga again. A rewarding cycle of reading.

Monday 10 November 2008

Remedies for Restless Minds

Five Hindrances
Lord Buddha identified five hindrances (nivaarana) to mental development: lust, anger, sleepiness, restlessness and doubt. There are many synonyms for these hindrances and other commentators may use different words. A keen student who is not familiar with these five hindrances would do well to study them further. Essentially these five hindrances are symptoms of a lack of mindfulness and concentration. Once a yogi develops persistent mindfulness and profound concentration, the hindrances will disappear, the mind will be bright and pliant, ready to apply for worthy purposes.

When the hindrances dominate the mind the yogi may not be aware of the need to apply a remedy. Some people may consider hindrances as normal and not wish to avoid them. So the first step is to be motivated to avoid hindrances and this requires the right view that a hindrance dominated mind leads to suffering, the right view that hindrances cause suffering, the right view that the ending of hindrances is ultimately worthy, and a certain degree of confidence in the benefits of a hindrance-free mind, confidence in the yogi's capacity to develop a hindrance-free mind and confidence that there are practical techniques that can be applied for developing a hindrance-free mind.

Lord Buddha recommended a virtuous life style that is blame free and promotes social and personal happiness. A lot of restlessness arises due to harmful speech, behaviour and thought which cause remorse and regret. Some restlessness arises due to ignorance and wrong views. We misunderstand reality and assign blame here or there for the wrong reasons and this confusion creates restlessness. Associating with wise and compassionate people who model the virtuous behaviour and who can give yogis a "reality check" during confusing times is of incalculable benefit.

Mindfulness

The more we practice, the easier it is to note hindrances such as restlessness. We can develop a base level of mindfulness and right view to remind ourselves that the mind is beginning to be dominated by hindrances. Lord Buddha provided a vast amount of helpful advice for overcoming hindrances. The Aanaapanasati Sutta (the discourse on mindfulness of breathing) is a one of many discourses. Another is the Satipathaana Sutta (the discourse on establishing mindfulness). Frequent reading of these and other discourses is highly rewarding.

Mindfulness of breathing is an excellent technique for calming the restless mind. Whether the yogi chooses to note the touch of the breath on the upper lip or the rising and falling of the abdomen, noting the breath is a sure way to subdue the restless mind and has no ill effects on body or mind.

Yogis can know the mind and phenomena that arises, persists and passes. It is as it is. Whatever arises, focus on it and note what ever it is. If yogis note many objects and find it difficult to keep pace or can't find a label for the Dhamma or mental state yogis may note "knowing, knowing, knowing..." while rapidly following each objects as they arise and pass.

Mindfulness of breathing and the four establishments of mindfulness are the ultimate in virtuous behaviour, speech and thought. Done correctly, these techniques will lead to peace and liberation.

Slow Deliberate Movements
One way to overcome a restless mind is to practice noting slow deliberate movements in daily life and during periods of meditation practice. If a yogi has dedicated a day for practice, then it is possible to do all movements very very slowly. Get out of bed slowly, go to toilet slowly, brush teeth slowly and so on. Note each discrete movement. For example, from a reclining position, note the intention to move, note the intention to move a particular limb, move the limb slowly, noting the change in sensation of weight or the touch of an insect on the skin or the pain or other sensation in the joints and muscles as the limb moves. Note the hardness or softness of the surfaces which the body contacts.

Walking Meditation
Slow motion walking meditation helps to focus the mind and builds energy for sitting practice.

A useful alternative to walking meditation for people who can't walk is noting slow hand and arm movements. The yogi very very slowly moves hands and arms through a repetitive series of movements that have been studied prior or have been taught by a teacher.

Slow Prostrations
The late Ven. Ajahn Kao (Titawano from Wat Bunsimunikorn) taught yogis to deepen mindfulness by prostrating very slowly. According to Ven. Ajahn Kao many people do prostrations fast and sloppily. He advised yogis to prostrate in slow motion while noting each bodily movement one at a time. One prostration might take 30 seconds or more. Some people may need to change the way they bow down to make it more convenient for slow motion bowing and to facilitate one movement at a time.

I would like to post a video or series of photos to show how to prostrate slowly. Start from the kneeling position and have hands together in front like the Anjaali position.
  1. Note the mental intention to bow.
  2. Note them mental intention to move the right hand/arm downwards.
  3. Move the hard/arm downwards very slowly.
  4. Note the intention to bend forward slightly at the hips.
  5. Note the intention to move the hand/arm more and so on with the left hand/arm and so on ... note the touching of the ground, the hardness, softness of the ground with each hand separately and so on.
  6. Do the same going back up again after touching your head on the ground.
Painful Sensations Cause Restlessness and Anger
When yogis sit for a while painful sensations arise in various parts of the body including the knees. When mindfulness and concentration are relatively weak yogis may struggle to sit through painful sensations. The intense pain can cause restlessness and doubt to arise. The remedy is to focus the mind on the painful spot. This can be difficult for beginning yogis who may become angry or fearful of the pain. So in addition to the hindrance of restlessness, another hindrance of anger arises to further cloud the mind and weaken the remedies of mindfulness and concentration. If mindfulness and concentration are insufficient the painful physical sensation and restless angry mind will become intolerable, forcing the yogi to change position. The remedy is to develop strong mindfulness and strong concentration prior to the arising of painful sensations. With strong mindfulness and strong concentration, the mind may observe apparently painful sensations with equanimity and thereby gain profound insights.

Developing Right View and Confidence
A lot of restlessness is caused by confusion about what is real and this can lead to a lack of confidence in either the remedy or the yogi's ability to successfully apply the remedy. An inspiring and knowledgeable teacher may help the beginner.

Initially yogis can put their difficult experiences in perspective. When feeling discouraged a yogi could try recalling the successes as well as set backs. By focusing mostly on the set backs the yogi may become impatient and suffer. Yogis can reflect on their virtues, remembering that they have kept five, eight or more precepts for a long period. They can also focus on their generous behaviour, how they have donated to worthy causes and helped people. Lord Buddha taught that virtuous conduct and generosity lead to a happy rebirth possibly in a heavenly realm or a fortunate human existence. These recollections can help overcome self-doubt and low self-esteem.

Remember that all those revered teachers including Lord Buddha overcame the hindrances. Remembering the virtues of Lord Buddha and other advanced teachers can inspire yogis and build confidence to continue the practice.

Remember the teaching of Lord Buddha, read discourses and reflect on the meaning of the words. Reflecting on the Dhamma helps to overcome doubts and confusion as well as arousing inspiration and energy for practice.

Many yogis experience joy or rapture while reading Dhamma. Joy and rapture is useful for sitting practice though it must be balanced with the calming factors of tranquillity and concentration else the yogi may be over stimulated and become restless again.

Sunday 9 November 2008

Restraint of the Six Sense Bases

The Connected Discourses of the Buddha: A Translation of the Saṃyutta Nikāya ; Translated from the Pāli by Bhikkhu Bodhi

Selected discourses from the Salaayatanasamyutta - Connected Discourses on the Six Sense Bases

SN.35.96 (3) Decline Sutta, p.1178
...

"And how, bhikkhus, is one subject to decline? Here, bhikkhus, when a bhikkhu has seen a form with the eye, there arise in him evil unwholesome states, memories and intentions connected with the fetters. If the bhikkhu tolerates them and does not abandon them, dispel them, put an end to them, and obliterate them, he should understand this thus: 'I am declining away from wholesome states. For this has been called decline by the Blessed One.' "Further bhikkhus, when a bhikkhu has heard a sound with the ear ... cognized a mental phenomenon with the mind, there arise in him evil unwholesome states, memories and intentions connected with the fetters. If the bhikkhu tolerates them and does not abandon them... he should understand this thus: 'I am declining away from wholesome states.

SN.35.134 (1) At Devadaha Sutta, p.1206

"...There are, bhikkhus, forms cognizable by the eye that are agreeable and those that are disagreeable. [One should train so that] these do not persist obsessing one's mind even when they are repeatedly experienced. When the mind is not obsessed, tireless energy is aroused, unmuddled mindfulness is set up, the body becomes tranquil and untroubled, the mind becomes concentrated and one-pointed. Seeing this fruit of diligence, bhikkhus, I say that those bhikkhus still have work to do with diligence in regard to the six bases for contact. ...


SN.35.244 (7) States That Entail Suffering Sutta, p.1248


"Bhikkhus, when a bhikkhu understands as they really are the origin and passing away of all states whatsoever that entail suffering, then sensual pleasures have been seen by him in such a way that as he looks at them sensual desire, sensual affection, sensual infatuation, and sensual passion do not lie latent within him in regard to sensual pleasures; then he has comprehended a mode of conduct and manner of dwelling in such a way that as he conducts himself thus and as he dwells thus, evil unwholesome states of covetousness and displeasure do not flow in upon him.


"And how, bhikkhus, does a bhikkhu understand as they really are the origin and the passing away of all states whatsoever that entail suffering? ' Such is form, such its origin, such its passing away; such is feeling ... such is perception ... such are volitional formations ... such is consciousness, such its origin, such its passing away': it is in such a way that a bhikkhu understands as they really are the origin and the passing away of all states whatsoever that entail suffering.

"And how, bhikkhus, are sensual pleasures seen by a bhikkhu in such a way that as he looks at them, sensual desire, sensual affection, sensual infatuation, and sensual passion do not lie latent within him in regard to sensual pleasures? Suppose there is a charcoal pit deeper than a man's height, filled with glowing coals without flame or smoke. A man would come along wanting to live, not wanting to die, desiring happiness and averse to suffering. Then two strong men would grab him by both arms and drag him towards the charcoal pit. The man would wriggle his body this way and that. For what reason? Because he knows 'I will fall into this charcoal pit and I will thereby meet death or deadly suffering.' So too, bhikkhus, when a bhikkhu has seen sensual pleasures as similar to a charcoal pit, sensual desire, sensual affection, sensual infatuation, and sensual passion do not lie latent within him in regard to sensual pleasures.

"And how, bhikkhus, has a bhikkhu comprehended a mode of conduct and a manner of dwelling in such a way that as he conducts himself thus and as he dwells thus, evil unwholesome states of covetousness and displeasure do not flow upon him? Suppose a man would enter a thorny forest. There would be thorns in front of him, thorns behind him, thorns to his left, thorns to his right, thorns below him, thorns above him. He would go forward mindfully, he would go back mindfully, thinking, 'May no thorn prick me!' So too, bhikkhus, what ever in the world has a pleasing and agreeable nature is called a thorn in the Noble One's Discipline. Having understood this thus as 'a thorn,' one should understand restraint and nonrestraint.

"And how, bhikkhus, is there nonrestraint? Here, having seen a form with the eye, a bhikkhu is intent upon a pleasing form and repelled by a displeasing form. He dwells without having set up mindfulness of the body, with a limited mind, and he does not understand as it really is that liberation of mind, liberation by wisdom, where in those evil unwholesome states cease without remainder. Having heard a sound with the ear ... having cognized a mental phenomenon with the mind, he is intent upon a pleasing mental phenomenon and repelled by a displeasing mental phenomenon. He dwells without having set up mindfulness of the body, with a limited mind, and he does not understand as it really is that liberation of mind, liberation by wisdom, wherein those evil unwholesome states cease without remainder. It is in such a way that there is nonrestraint.


"And how, bhikkhus, is there restraint? Here, having seen a form with the eye, a bhikkhu is not intent upon a pleasing form and not repelled by a displeasing form. He dwells having set up mindfulness of the body, with a measureless mind, and he understands as it really is that liberation of mind, liberation by wisdom, where in those evil unwholesome states cease without remainder. Having heard a sound with the ear ... Having cognized mental phenomenon with the mind, he is not intent upon a pleasing mental phenomenon. He dwells having set up mindfulness of the body, with a measureless mind, and he understands as it really is that liberation of mind, liberation by wisdom, wherein those evil unwholesome states cease without remainder. It is in such a way that there is restraint.

"When, bhikkhus, a bhikkhu is conducting himself and dwelling in such a way, if occasionally, due to a lapse of mindfulness, evil unwholesome memories and intentions connected with fetters arise in him, slow might be the arising of his mindfulness, but then he quickly abandons them, dispels them, puts an end to them, obliterates them. Suppose a man let two or three drops of water fall onto an iron plate heated for a whole day. Slow might be the falling of the water drops, but then they would quickly vapourize and vanish. So too, when a bhikkhus conducting himself and dwelling in such a way ... slow might be the arising of his mindfulness, but then he quickly abandons them, dispels them, puts and end to them, obliterates them.


"Thus a bhikkhu has comprehended a mode of conduct and manner of dwelling in such a way that as he conducts himself and as he dwells thus, evil unwholesome states of covetousness and displeasure do not flow in upon him...

Thursday 6 November 2008

New Job and New President

I start a new public service job on 11 November. I have a 4 month contract until mid March 2009. This suits me fine. The salary will be sufficient for me to save and to continue on my journey.

My primary goal is to travel to Myanmar and do a 6-12 month intensive meditation retreat. I may decide to ordain as a monk or I may decide to return to Perth, find another 4-6 month job, save money and then go back for another retreat. Although the global economy seems to be slowing right now, I am confident I can find work when I need it.

I was offered the job a week ago and was glad my new employer asked me to start next week. I've become obsessed with the US general election and been following it very closely on the Internet. I've followed many blogs such as the Huffington Post, Think Progress and FiveThirtyEight. I've been up late and up early, especially this week. I was up at 3 am yesterday morning (UTC/GMT+9) to follow the voting and watch the acceptance speech live on TV around 2pm.

I am very inspired by the Obama campaign and how it appears to be transforming American and global culture. Barack Obama and his team have been so cool and professional. Amazing. I watched speeches on online and read so many political articles. The presidential acceptance speech at Grant Park was brilliant. I've been touched so many times watching this campaign... The impact on African Americans and everyone else is profound. Healing. I really believe this will change the US and the world. I particularly admire the way that the Obama campaign has appealed to the better side of human nature. Extraordinary. Hug somebody. Cry tears of joy.

Saturday 25 October 2008

Jhaana - Absorption

Jhaana is a Paali word that may be translated as absorption. "The jhānas are states of meditation where the mind is free from the five hindrances (craving, aversion, sloth, agitation, doubt) and (from the second jhāna onwards) incapable of discursive thinking. The deeper jhānas can last for many hours. When a meditator emerges from jhāna, his or her mind is empowered and able to penetrate into the deepest truths of existence." [source: wikipedia]

Leigh Brasington has lots of links on his jhaana page that I found independently before I found his website. I won't paste the links we have in common on this post. http://www.leighb.com/jhanas.htm

Ven. Maháthera Henepola Gunaratana's book on jhaanas (PhD thesis), other books and online videos of interviews with him are interesting and very useful. The jhaana book is online and linked fromLeigh Brasington's website. Ven. Maháthera Henepola Gunaratana is featured on DhammaTube videos on YouTube and Veoh.com. There are also many excellent Dhamma resources produced by the Ven. Maháthera on the Bhavana Society website.

Ven. Pa Auk Sayadaw: Ven. Pa Auk Sayadaw's websites and his books in English translation are also linked from Leigh Brasington's website. http://www.paauk.org/index.html From what I have read of Ven. Pa Auk Sayadaw's jhaana methods, they appear quite consistent with the Visuddhimagga and Sutta. Ven. Pa Auk Sayadaw is very thorough and detailed.

Without practice and seeing for myself, I have so far relied on textual sources. Ven. Pa Auk's teaching as described in books and by his followers is quite consistent with the Paali Canon. The only part of Ven. Pa Auk Sayadaw's teaching I don't understand is kalaapa. I have not found kalaapa in the Sutta and only found the word as a minor reference in the Visuddhimagga. The Concise Pali-English Dictionary by Ven. A.P.Buddhadatta Mahaathera defines Kalaapa as 1. a bundle; sheaf; 2. a quiver; 3. a group of elementary particles. Childers refers to it in conjunctions of string of pearls and a peacock's tail feathers. The definition of a "group of elementary particles" comes closest to the meaning used by Ven. Pa Auk Sayadaw. Perhaps the term is significant in Abhidhamma texts.  I haven't yet found any references on the Internet for articles that refer to this use of Kalaapa by Ven. Pa Auk Sayadaw.  [UPDATE]

Ven. Pa Auk Sayadaw suggests that once yogis have completed the jhaana training up to the eight jhaana (four ruupa jhaana and four aruupa jhaana) and attained the five jhaana mastery's, they will begin four element vipassana practice and see the kalaapa as individual glowing particles or as bundles of them. The yogi will see these kalaapa are the fundamental particles of ultimate reality that lie beneath apparent reality [look out, I've paraphrased].

Maybe I need to attain full mastery of all eight jhaana and then I'll understand. The concept also seems like a simsapa leaf from another tree. It may be true, it may exist, but is it useful or essential to the path of liberation? Perhaps yogis that can see kalaapa may truely see the emptiness of self, the lack of substance in body and mind. Then detachment, dispassion and liberation follow.

Tina Rasmussen and Stephen Snyder manage the JhaanasAdvice.com website, teach and train. I ordered their book "Jhanas Advice from Two Spiritual Friends: Concentration Meditation as Taught by Ven. Pa Auk Sayadaw" and a CD ROM with MP3 talks. Their talks maybe downloaded from their website too. The book appears aimed toward yogis who may be relatively new to jhaana practice. They refer sometimes to yogis who may be trying jhaana practice after some experience (months or years...) with Mahasi vipassana or Goenka vipassana techniques.

I sense they are very sincere and respect them for their efforts to teach meditation and spread Ven. Pa Auk Sayadaw's system of meditation to a wider range of yogis. They are very gentle and not in the least bit critical of other meditation techniques. They also refer to kalaapa...

I also recommend Ven. Buddhadhasa Bhikkhu's book "Anapanasati" which has been translated from Thai for two quite different English editions. Ven. Buddhadasa's book is a commentary on the Aanaapanasati Sutta - Mindfulness of Breathing.
1. translated from the Thai by Ven. Santikaro Bhikkhu http://www.what-buddha-taught.net/Books3/Bhikkhu_Buddhadasa_Anapanasati_Mindfulness_with_Breathing.htm
2. translated from the Thai by Ven. Bhikkhu Nagasena http://www.buddhanet.net/pdf_file/anapanasati.pdf

I prefer Ven. Bhikkhu Nagasena's translation which is more detailed than Ven. Santikaro Bhikkhu's version. It seems closer to the original Thai volume which I bought in 1984 and gave away to a friend earlier this year. Ven. Santikaro Bhikkhu refers to the tapes and may not have used tapes rather than the published Thai book. They are both good though.

The Visuddhimagga is the core text for describing various samatha and vipassana meditation techniques taught by contemporary teachers including Ven. Pa Auk Sayadaw. I visited the Mahasi Centre in Yangon in January 2007, where I saw all the inside walls of the Mahasi Sayadaw Mausoleum beautifully decorated with Ven. Mahasi Sayadaw's Burmese language translation of the Visuddhimagga. Ven. Mahasi Sayadaw cited the Visuddhimagga as support for the vipassana meditation technique he promoted.

Ven. Ajahn Brahmavamso (Ajahn Brahm) based in Perth has written and spoken a lot about jhaana. I have a recent published book of his called "Mindfulness, Bliss, and Beyond: A Mediator's Handbook" which describes the technique for attaining jhaanas. The book has a tentative forward by Jack Kornfield. I haven't practiced jhaana yet so I can't comment with authority of experience. However, I note that some of Ven. Ajahn Brahm's assertions about the nature of jhaana and requirements for attainment of ariyamagga and phala are not consistent with Ven. Mahasi Sayadaw tradition or even other Samatha traditions. For example, Leigh Brasington's description of jhaanas differ markedly.

In describing a lay follower's experience, Ven. Ajahn Brahm writes (p. 154) "Another strange quality that distinguishes jhaana from all other experiences is that within jhaana, all the senses are totally shut down. One cannot see, hear, smell, taste or feel touch. One cannot hear a crow cawing [magpies caw a lot at his centre near Perth Western Australia] or a person coughing... no heart beat registered on the ECG, and no brain activity was seen by the EEG." The lay follower had been meditating at home and gone into first jhaana for the first time. His wife found him and couldn't wake him or feel a pulse so she called an ambulance...

Ven. Ajahn Brahm also writes (p. 225) "A recurring topic among our Sangha is, can one attain to stream winning without any experience of jhaana? As should be obvious from what has been written so far, I cannot see a possibility of penetrating to the fully meaning of anattaa, dukkha and anicca without the radical data gained in jhaana experience. Yet, there are some stories in the Tipitaka ... that suggest that it might be possible." He then refers to the story of 31 soldiers of King Ajaatasattu sent by Ven. Devadatta to kill the Lord Buddha. Lord Buddha interrupts them, teaches them Dhamma and they all became Sotapannas just by listening to the Dhamma. These are soldiers who live a rough life, probably never kept even five precepts and yet they attained Sotapanna. Ven. Ajahn Brahm over looks many other examples in the Suttas including Ven. Sariputta and Ven. Moggallana who both attained Sotapanna by listening to Dhamma (Vinaaya 1:39). Ven. Sariputta attained Arahat by listening to the Dhamma (he was fanning the Lord Buddha at the same time) in the Dighanaka Sutta (MN 74). Ven. Ajahn Brahm writes that in our cynical modern world it would be impossible for someone to have enough confidence and energy to attain Sotapanna without jhaana. This is the difference between saddhaanusaarii and dhammaanusaarii (faith follower and a dhamma follower).

Many of Ven. Ajahn Brahm's video, audio and text discourses are available for download from the following website: http://www.bswa.org.au/

Ven. Dhammavuddho writes that attaining up to Sakidagaami is possible without jhaana but further attainments to Anaagaami and Arahat are only possible with jhaana. In an article "Liberation: Relevance of Sutta-Vinaya"on the following website, you can go to page 12 for the Sutta references. http://www.vbgnet.org/resources.asp

Ven. Dhammavuddho was a Mahayana monk in Malaysia described in a video available from YouTube/DhammaTube and Veoh.com how he was forcibly disrobed on orders from his master because he had published many books indicating the contradictions and problems in Mahayana Buddhism. He then went to Thailand and ordained as a Theravada monk and then went to Wat Pananachaht for training. Now he is an Abbot of Vihara Buddha Gotama in Malaysia. He is a meditator and scholar. The VBG website has many photos of the centre and many excellent Dhamma articles in English, Chinese and Bahasa.

Wednesday 22 October 2008

Four Factors for Success Applied to Worthy Projects

May everyone successfully complete worthy projects. May those projects be beneficial and not harmful.

I would like to share the four factors for success - chanda, viriya, citta and vimamsaa also known collectively in Paali language as the iddhipaada. [source: Samyuttanikaaya 51.1-86]

1. Chanda is the sincere wish to accomplish your goal. It manifests as aspiration and determination.

Be clear about the goal. Visualise, feel, hear or imagine what it would be like to achieve the goal. Create an implementation plan which explains in some detail how to achieve the goal. The plan will include lists of milestones with dates and deliverables. Divide the project into smaller tasks and then note which tasks depend on other tasks (dependencies). Note things that could go wrong (risks) and note resources that will help you along the way. Consider how to minimise the risks and outline the tactics for dealing with risks in the plan. Consider how to marshal the helpful resources and incorporate these tactics in the plan. Include a budget section in the plan.

Plan time and space for your personal life during the period you are working on your project. Make a detailed schedule or calendar showing when things are due. You can modify all of the above as you go. Sometimes there are events outside your knowledge that will impact on deliverables and time frames so you have to be flexible. Even so, it is good to have a clear and detailed implementation plan to achieve your goal.

Write the primary project objective in one or two sentences. Describe it in one page. Prepare this and stick it right above your computer screen, the back of your toilet door, the fridge door, the bed room door and everywhere you will notice it. Read it every day and check if it needs to be changed.

At least once a day you need to spend at least a few minutes focusing on your goal.
THE PROJECT WILL BE COMPLETED.

2. Viriya is the energy and effort applied to accomplish your goal. It manifests as persistence.

Keep checking the implementation plan to stay on track. Use the plan as a key motivator and guide whenever you are confused or vague about what to do right now.

If sometimes you lack energy then you increase it by developing faith in the worthiness of the goal and building confidence in your own ability to achieve it. Remember why you chose to do this project in the beginning, what inspired you. If you haven't done so already, write that down quickly with words of exuberance and enthusiasm. Look at that statement when you feel low energy and don't lose it. You have skills and talents for achieving goals. You can enhance these and become more effective. You have achieved a lot already just to get to this point. Remember your previous successes. Examine how you succeeded before and what personal qualities helped you. You can do that again and again. Look for inspiration around you by admiring other worthy successful people. Respect them and emulate the best in them.

You can also remember that others are counting on you. Your family and friends miss you while you are working. You have all sacrificed time together so you can complete this project. You will not let them down. You will make the best use of your time and resources, right now, to complete this project for your own sake, for the sake of your family and for the sake of others that you may not yet know.

Recognise and celebrate milestones.

Don't allow setbacks to prevent ultimate success. Keep working!

3. Citta is a purity of mind that is focused on the objective. It manifests as dedication or cool focus.

It is a mind dedicated to the goal of accomplishing the goal. It is non-distraction and not procrastinating. It is staying on track. It is completing the project of high quality in the shortest possible time. It is not paying attention to irrelevant issues that are not your business. It is being very clear about what you are doing right now to achieve your goal.

Complete and total focus on your goal of completing the project.

You can strengthen this by only associating with wise, virtuous, calm people who also work hard and who embody all the good habits and skills you admire. You can avoid those people who are not so focused and who present distractions to your goal. You can stay physically and mentally healthy. You can rest properly, eat properly and exercise properly. Avoid gossip and frivolous talk.

Always keep the five moral precepts to protect yourself and others from harm and to cultivate peace and happiness. Peace and happiness lead to concentration which in turn leads to discernment and wisdom. Practice the eight moral precepts when possible. Go on intensive meditation retreats at least once a year. Daily practice mindfulness of breathing aanaapanasati and build concentration/one pointed mind samaadhi.

Be generous to others and yourself. Cultivate divine mental states such as loving kindness metta, compassion karuna, sympathetic joy mudita and equanimity upekkha.

4. Vimamsaa is the investigation and analysis of the project topic. It is the deep penetration into the project issues, to understand the concepts and relations between concepts in this project. It manifests as expertise and insight.

You can understand concepts and relations between concepts by seeking advice from mentors, elders and expert advisors in books and in person. Keep notes of helpful information. Get advice from more than one respected experts on whether your plan is viable and may be improved. When your project is quality tested or applied in the world, others will examine your thoroughness and knowledge. Do you have the ability to do a presentation on the main ideas in this project topic for people who may not know anything about it? Sustain a network of contacts of people in this field who can help you with your project.

Insight arises when the mind is tranquil and focused. Insight is not controlled by an act of will. Prepare the mind, balance the mental factors of confidence saddha, discernment panna, energy viriya, collectedness samaadhi with mindfulness sati. Mindfulness is the essential mental factor for the arising of skillful kusala mental states. Pay attention, be aware of body and mind at all times.

All the above iddhipaada success factors are powered by sammaa padaana the four right strivings (efforts) and samaadhi concentration.

Sammaapadaana is the four right strivings. 1. to restrain from adopting new bad habits and behaviours; 2. to abandon existing bad habits and behaviours; 3. to cultivate new good habits and behaviours; and 4. to maintain existing good habits and behaviours.

Samaadhi is concentration, focus and tranquillity of mind. Practice mindfulness of breathing aanaapanasati frequently to develop a one-pointed mind. This will build mental power and strength that will support all skillful kusala mental states.

These notes are a personal interpretation of the Dhamma as applied to worthy projects. The suttas describing these principles are not very accessible for casual readers who may not know how to apply them in daily life. I used some creative license to elaborate the basic principles and hopefully share them with a wider audience with a broader application. By applying techniques for spiritual success to worthy worldly projects we may create a more spiritual world.

Perhaps hindering accessibility, I included some Paali technical terms because they are interpreted into English in different ways. Some readers who know Paali may prefer alternative English words to the ones I've chosen here.

Lord Buddha originally taught the iddhipaada as The Bases for Spiritual Power, the power that leads to Nibanna - enlightenment.

"Bhikkhus, these four bases of spiritual power, when developed and cultivated, are noble and emancipating; they lead the one who acts upon them to the complete destruction of suffering. What four? Here, bhikkhus, a bhikkhu develops the basis for spiritual power that possesses concentration due to desire [chanda] and volitional formations of striving. He develops the basis for spiritual power that possesses concentration due to energy [viriya] and volitional formations of striving. He develops the basis for spiritual power that possesses concentration due to mind [citta] and volitional formations of striving. He develops the spiritual power that possesses concentration due to investigation [vimamsaa]and volitional formations of striving. These four bases of spiritual power, when developed and cultivated, are noble and emancipating; they lead the one who acts upon them to the complete destruction of suffering."

[source: SN 51.3 Noble Sutta, The Connected Discourses of the Buddha: A Translation of the Saṃyutta Nikāya ; Translated from the Pāli by Bhikkhu Bodhi, Published by Wisdom Publications, 2000, page 1719]

Sunday 5 October 2008

Doldrums

I'm recovering from a cold. Other family members had it before me and recovered already.

I've been applying for many jobs in the WA and federal governments, many in policy development and project management roles. I've had a few interviews and two confirmed rejects. Many applications still pending. I'm confident the right job will come along sooner or later.

Last week Mum's kitchen was renovated. Mum is very pleased with the look and convenience of the new kitchen and appliances.

I spend a lot of my day writing applications, surfing the net or reading Samyuttanikaaya. I'm about half way through. I get a thrill from reading suttas that refer directly to vipassana practice. All of it is great though. I particularly like reading the suttas in Khandhanikaaya and Salyaayatananikaaya sections. I can't recommend them enough... brilliant.

Sunday 14 September 2008

Adrift

It is ironic that only one month ago, I was working in a Government unit that monitored and approved funding for Centrelink. Last week, I registered as a Centrelink job seeker. One month ago, I was netting over $1000 per week and now I have no income. Centrelink, New Start allowance is not available for 6-8 weeks. I had to transfer funds from my credit account to my savings account.

Last week, I went to the Spearwood Centrelink Office several times before I was interviewed. They are very busy with many clients and not enough staff. The Office exterior is very bleak. Some clients could be heard shouting abuse as they left the building. Once I found someone had smashed rotten eggs over the front door. I admire the Centrelink Office staff for their patience and good will. It may be possible for them to find less stressful work. I suppose they do these jobs because they want to help the community.

Good news from the Canberra Real Estate agent who said someone will take over the lease at 18 Gillespie Street on Friday, 17 September. I hope to get some of the rental bond back the following week.

I have a job interview next week. I've applied for many temporary full-time jobs but this is the only interview so far. I am confident I will get a job soon. I have good qualifications and experience.

Since finding I didn't have as much money as I thought and being away from my recent home and habits, I find myself slightly adrift. I've stayed on track by focusing on the intermediate goal traveling to meditate. To achieve that goal I will find temporary work and save money. This entails living simply and not gathering a lot of new furniture and other gear. In fact, I could even give away or throw out some of the remaining stuff.

I've been a bit distracted in mind lately. Although preparing job applications and helping around the house doing cooking and cleaning for Mum, I am not so focussed on Dhamma as I was when living in Canberra. Or at least that is how it seems to me now. May be there is little difference except the location.

At random times throughout the day such as walking to the shops, driving Mum's car or in the back yard, I note the breathing and get a sense that I'm drinking pleasure and happiness. It is a nice feeling though not one that I try to recreate or become attached to.

A few months ago, I read Ven. Ledi Sayadaw excellent book "Requisites for Enlightenment" who wrote about a traveling down the river metaphor adrift in a small boat. You can read this online if you search for it with Google Book Search.

I've paraphrased it differently to the book. A person is traveling down the river in a small boat at night looking for safe places to stop. As the boat drifts on currents the person can not see any places of safety. It is dark and quite scary. Then the light of a town appears and the person may or may not find a way to dock the boat and find safety. Through multiple rebirths, we drift through samsara finding danger and scary places without real safety. The lighted town is the Dhamma - teaching of the Lord Buddha that guides the person in the boat to safety.

Tuesday 2 September 2008

Debt free

My plan now is to find employment as soon as possible and live cheaply while saving money to continue my journey.

I've been looking at job vacancies in the WA state government, universities and state branches of Commonwealth government departments. There seem to be quite a few positions that may suit my experience and background.

I will have a better idea for how long it will take to save travel money once I get a job and settle into a routine. I am not yet sure of expenses. It should be cheap to live here with my Mum and with my siblings nearby. I will not buy any furniture or other major items. I am glad I brought my suits and shirts over on this trip.

In the meantime, I shall continue reading my Tipitaka books and practicing meditation in spare moments. I have little inclination to go to movies or attend any other entertainments. I may attend family gatherings. My siblings and Mum often meet for dinner during the week and lunch on weekends.

Many kind friends have offered to loan money. I prefer to avoid debts. I feel very uncomfortable to owe money to family or friends. I want to clear my personal loan debt and hope other debts will be less or zero soon. Lord Buddha rightly said that being debt free is bliss.

Anana Sutta, AN 4.62


"And what is the bliss of debtlessness? There is the case where the son of a good family owes no debt, great or small, to anyone at all. When he thinks, 'I owe no debt, great or small, to anyone at all,' he experiences bliss, he experiences joy. This is called the bliss of debtlessness."

I believe this debtlessness will be a cause for happiness and peace of mind. Happiness and peace of mind will be a cause for stronger concentration. Stronger concentration will be a cause for discernment to arise that will remove the cause for suffering. Thus working to be free from debt is Dhamma practice.

Yogis who practice in this way with right view will benefit in the present and the future. Non-Buddhists who may work to be free from debt will benefit a little. A sincere Buddhist with right view will benefit far more. A person who has this kind of right view - believing in intentional action and results (kamma) is building the perfections for the Eightfold Noble Path.

I should have at least $2000 saved in Australia for emergency use and also have travel insurance for 12 months which may be renewed if I stay in Asia longer as a lay man.

Monday 1 September 2008

Delay

I am feeling better physically. I have slept well since finishing the moving and packing. My family have welcomed me very warmly here.

My plans are delayed because I don't have enough money.

I have about $2300 in savings. Zero debt on credit cards. $2500 in personal loan debt. I have $1680 bond but this may totally disappear soon because I broke the lease 2 months early on my 18 Gillespie Street rental and need to pay rent until it is occupied by another tenant. The agent also wants me to pay for scratches to the wooden parquet floor and some extra cleaning to the kitchen.

In hindsight, I should have read the fine print for the rules for superannuation and long service pro rata. I previously estimated about $30,000 from super and about $14,000 from long service leave and annual leave. I was unable to get either. I found out about my super maybe two weeks ago and the long service leave on Thursday.

I had already resigned my job, ended my rental lease, told all Canberra friends and family of my plans to leave and bought my flight to Perth. So on Thursday, despite feeling a bit foolish and sad, I decided to continue to fly to Perth. I can stay with my Perth family.

Now my plan is to live cheaply with Mum in her 3 bedroom house, get a job and save money quickly to pay my personal loan debt and put aside $5-10,000 for my trip OS.

I shall go to Centrelink this morning to register unemployed and make contact with many employment agencies specialising in office work. I can try with the local universities for administration work as well as with the WA state government and branches of federal government departments here in Perth.

I would pay some board and for some incidental transport costs but otherwise, I should be able to save most of my income. I can't predict exactly when I can save enough money. It depends on what work I can get. I may not be able to travel until sometime early next year.

There are always obstacles while we are unenlightened. I am determined to go on this journey.

Saturday 30 August 2008

Last day in Canberra

The past two days have been hectic. I worked hard physically to clear out the remaining things from 18 Gillespie St and then do the cleaning. Finally out of there. May that be my last house! May those belongings bring happiness to someone else. May I never gather so much stuff ever again in this life or any other.

Due to working so late on Thursday night/Friday morning, I slept overnight on the carpet in one of the rooms just wearing what I had on with a rolled up towel and some other rag as a pillow. It was cold and not comfortable even though the house heater was on all night.

I slept well last night back at the YHA. I packed and repacked my remaining stuff this morning. A series of decisions about the relatively inessential to cut weight. I'm down to my good Osprey Sojourn travel pack (with wheels and backpack straps) and an old suitcase for stowed luggage and my day pack for cabin luggage. I put my suit bag inside the old suitcase. I will probably dump that old suitcase in Perth. My travel pack is loaded with my most precious Dhamma books that I find very hard to leave behind. I may send them by DHL or FedEx to Bangkok for storage at a friend's house so my travel pack be lighter. I won't need the books while I'm doing intensive meditation retreat. Once I'm settled somewhere, even briefly, I like to have my Dhamma books nearby to consult.

I have arranged to meet my children for a lunch today.

Thursday 28 August 2008

Wallet lost and found

I woke blurry and still tired from the recent unaccustomed physical work get a quick cup of black tea at the YHA. I not been paying attention when I put my wallet in my pocket because I didn't have it when I looked for it 30 minutes after getting off the bus. I went to the Bus depot to check their lost property office, but it turns out ACTION buses have changed policy and now to lost property at the terminus (in Tuggeranong and Belconnen). So I went back to the terminus and my wallet was there. I was pleasantly surprised to find that nothing was missing at all, even the $400 plus cash. When I told this story, most people were amazed. Some said I was lucky. One of my Dhamma friends said this was kamma. She said that this is a result of me previously keeping the second precept (of the five precepts for lay Buddhists) of not stealing.

So the there was some delay with the work of the day, sorting and cleaning my old rental. I've done a lot and there is still a lot to do. My children want to take a day off school tomorrow to help me clean up. My son is keen to spend more time with me before I go (even if he has to do some work...). We'll see how we go.

I'll hire a ute from Kennards and take some more junk to the recycling depot at Mitchell. Then I need to sweep, mop, wipe. I have lunch with one friend and dinner with another. I may not have much time with either given all the work I have to do. House inspection is Friday morning.

Tuesday 26 August 2008

Parents and children

Today was more hard physical work moving furniture and boxes of things out of the house for friends to take away. This evening my daughter and I ate noodles at a local restaurant and then went to parent-teacher night at Hawker College I met 4 teachers who all praised my daughter for her enthusiasm and good work. I felt touched and sentimental. A few tears rolled down. I have no concerns about my daughter's performance at school. I know she will do well in life. She has a good base, good values and clearly has a direction.

Some people may wonder how is it possible I could leave teenage children to pursue my path. This is a common concern since the time of Lord Buddha. The Jataka story of the bodhisatta's perfection of generosity, Prince Vessantara, is one example in Buddhist culture. I might discuss that issue in more detail another time. In referencing Prince Vessantara I don't mean to imply I am perfecting generosity, I refer to the Prince's ability to give away his children. There are many other instances in the Pali Canon.

My children have their Mum and step father to care for them too. They have e-mail and phone contact with their Grandma, Aunties and Uncles. They have been over to Perth to see them twice this year. My children have told me they want me to do this. I know that to some extent they want to please me.

I will be in e-mail and phone contact. They may possibly visit me in Asia. Their Mum is thinking of moving to Singapore to work for a few years at the end of next year. So many things are possible.

As parents we make many choices that may hurt and or help our children. Eventually they make their own choices and take responsibility. I hope my children will view my current project as an inspiration and see the many positive aspects.

Sometimes parents are in a no-win situation. It is very difficult to be perfect as a parent (or sibling, child, teacher, work colleague etc.).

All anyone can reasonably ask is that we try our best with good intentions and the best way that we know. I recall that when I was a newly ordained novice monk in 1982, I began vipassana meditation and many memories of childhood came up. I was very restless and wrote a series of letters to my parents criticising them for the mistakes they made in raising me and my siblings. My parents were shocked. Much later, after more meditation and after becoming a parent myself, I realised that my parents did the best they could at the time. They were actually very good parents. They both taught me to be a gentle man and gave me good values of loyalty, generosity and consideration for others. I asked their forgiveness. The wounds were still sore though. I won't be surprised if one day my own children may confront me for my failures as a parent too. I hope I shall have some degree of equanimity and loving kindness. Maybe I can smile and tell myself I saw that coming.

Monday 25 August 2008

Please rent 18 Gillespie Street



My lease doesn't run out until 2 November 2008. I'm breaking the least 2 months early so I pay rent until another tenant moves in.

You can see the advert and some pictures here: http://www.allhomes.com.au/ah/ah0079?rlid=167243237 This link will break when someone moves in and the ad is removed from the Allhomes site. Here is the Google Maps street view image:


This morning I used a borrowed a friend's car to carry and donate six boxes of books to Life Line and most of my clothes to the Salvation Army in Mitchell, ACT. I've got a box of food to take to the YHA this afternoon.

Donating for relief and freedom

Yesterday I was happy giving away a lot of things from this house. There was relief and delight. I was very happy Mrs Thin took most of my Dhamma books and Dhamma talks on CD ROM. She will pass them to people in her network, including Mr Grahame White who may use some and pass others to the libraries of various NSW Buddhist centres. I shall send the Thai language books to a friend in Melbourne. Later in the day Mr Saw Nyo, his wife and two young men came with a trailer and took 2 single beds, 3 mattresses, a 6 place wooden dining table, 2 tall boys (drawers), 3 book shelves, and 2 large pieces of wood that will be used to make soft beds firm. I also gave them some power tools, spanners, sheets, cups, an ironing board, an iron and other small items. They will take most of these items to the Narrabundah Buddhist Temple at Goyder Street Narrabundah. Mrs Saw Nyo told me the Abbot would use the table and the beds would be placed in kutis for meditating yogis to use when on retreats. Later someone came around to help me move the very old and decrepit sofa beds, fridge and washing machine to the skip outside.

This house is very untidy now. Mrs Thin is letting me use her car today so I may deliver many boxes of books to Life Line, clothes to charities and other items to the recycling centre.

Tomorrow the last pieces of furniture will be taken. This PC, printer, desk, office chairs, bed linen and mortar and pestle will be taken by my children. The queen size bed, microwave and other items will be taken by Mrs Beidar.

I will then clean the house and make it ready for the final inspection. Last night I spoke with Mum on the phone and told her that I hoped I never would accumulate these kinds of house possessions again in this life. If I don't ordain to be a Buddhist monk, may I live a simple life with as few possessions as possible.

When I reflect on these donations I feel happy because most of the things will be put to good use by worthy people. I also feel relief that I don't have to carry them any more. I don't have to protect them from theives or take care of them. A bit less burden in this life and bit more freedom...

Sunday 24 August 2008

Leaving the Australian Public Service

I worked three years in the Australian Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet and then six months in the Department of Finance and Deregulation. I worked in many other Australian Public Service (APS) agencies since 1992. I enjoyed working in the public service for many reasons: sharing knowledge and experience; contributing to the welfare of Australian people; meeting and stirring-up interesting people; and relatively good working conditions and salary. Reasons for not enjoying it include: seeing bad ideas become Government policy and then fail as predicted; seeing pettiness in the scramble for power; and more.

I also liked the public service because I could do work that was relatively harmless to myself and others. I always tried to ensure that my work would be helpful to the Australian community and to some extent the international community. I was mindful of Right Livelihood - Sammaa Aajiva.

"A lay follower should not engage in five types of business. Which five? Business in weapons, business in human beings, business in meat, business in intoxicants, and business in poison." AN 5.177

My last day in the APS was Friday, 22 August 2008. Now I have no income. I have some savings which I plan to live on for the next few months. I may decide to seek ordination as a Theravada Buddhist monk or to find employment to continue the search as a lay Buddhist.